Hello, my name is Brad and today I’ll be hanging out some life laundry. I don’t expect you to tell me all of your hopes, worries and fears without telling you some of mine first.
So, why me? How am I qualified to be your advice columnist?
Being a big pink fish in a small pond…
Growing up on an Island with a population lingering around 65,000 is character building to say the least and people tend to notice if you’re a little different. When small-town-stranded-at-sea meets sexual minority, things can get interesting.
Being the last to attend my own coming out party…
Apparently everyone around me knew I was gay before I did, and they weren’t afraid to enlighten me. For me, Secondary School was a journey of self-discovery and casual persecution. I was the only fifteen year old ‘out’ teenager from any of the five secondary schools on the Island. This granted me a strange pseudo-celebrity status on the Island – some thought of my boldness as a daring novelty, others not so much. It was the oldest story in the book; the girls saw me as fabulous accessory and the boys saw me as a threat to their own masculinity.
Being familiar with the ‘F’ bomb…
There seemed to be some kind of mindless homophobic comment made on a daily basis by passers-by. Groups of teenagers would walk past me and shout ‘faggot!’ all the time. After a while, you learn not to flinch at the ‘F’ word.
Being terrified to survive…
When I turned 18, I left Guernsey for Nottingham. I fell in love with a man who struggled with drug addiction and mental health problems and unfortunately the relationship became physically abusive. I had never felt more conflicted in my life – wanting desperately to be free, but terrified at the thought of leaving him. The decision I made to put my own survival before his love broke my heart.
Being your friend…
Now that we’re a bit more familiar with each other, I’d like to hear what’s going on in your life. Whether you’re tightrope-walking on the fence of coming out or you need a bit of advice on what to say to the girl in class and you’re not sure if she swings your way – I’m here to help.
Let’s talk it out and hopefully it’ll become clear.